Life

To The Class of 2006

In the words of Mr. Dave Pierson, “Every good speech starts out with a quote.” (PAUSE) Now, that particular quote didn’t really help me begin my speech at all and I definitely had writers block before I’d even started writing. I was really tempted to just buy a speech off the internet. But, naturally, I procrastinated and it wouldn’t have shipped out on time, so I had to wait for some brilliant idea to come to me. And this idea came to me Friday night, yes just two days ago. I was at Bethany’s graduation party and had just finished…

2017 Resolutions

2017: Year of the Badass Bitch

“Your nails are fuckin’ amazing.” I knew she was talking to me, though compliments from strangers are usually reserved for my vibrant friend, Teresa, with whom I was sharing New Year’s brunch, and, who, was quite literally dressed in hot pink from head to toe. “Your nails are fuckin’ amazing,” she repeated as straightforward as she had the first time. “Oh, thanks!” Thanks, because I had paid someone to detail these nails for me as opposed to doing them myself, so that I might garner some compliments that would encourage me to better my whole self: mind, body, and spirit, in…

Reasons I Left-Swiped You. (Part One)

I might be addicted to Tinder. There is absolutely no reason for me to keep coming back to it, but I can’t help but enjoy judging people from behind a screen in the comfort of my own home. What a great time to be alive. Since today is my birthday, and, inevitably, all about me, you can’t tell me what a horrible person I am for writing this or point out all of MY personal flaws, for today I am a saint and a goddess. Reasons I Left-Swiped You (Part One): “Ethically non-monogamous.” You have a ferret on your shoulder….

30 Before 30 Bucket List

Hey, you guys. I’m still here. I haven’t been busy, just boring. It occurred to me this week that I turned 10,000 days old and my 27th year of life is flying by. Is it just me, or does time seem to be speeding up? 27 is such a weird age. I can’t figure out if I’m an adult yet or a child still. I went to a kegger on a MONDAY (am I 21?), yet had conversations like, “Wow, I can’t believe May is half over already.” (Am I 51?) I know I already have a travel/life bucket list, but…

Look at my pretty new blog!

Guys! Look! I redesigned the blog! LOOK AT IT. In an ongoing effort to remain as transparent as possible on here, I should note that “redesigned” simply means I purchased a theme and then filled in some blanks. Regardless, I think it’s much more aesthetically pleasing and hopefully it doesn’t make you want to run away crying like the old layout did to me. My favorite new feature is my little social media bar: Are you following me on Twitter or Instagram yet? Why not? I’m tweeting out Deez Nuts videos and Instagramming pictures I took in high school (but I…

I…Have a Medical Condition: My Silent Struggle with Misophonia

I’m not going to die from it…but you might. I wanted to share with you that I have been self-diagnosed with misophonia. In case you haven’t heard of it, misophonia means “hatred of sound.” And boy, do I have a case of that. A serious one. The other night, I got a little tipsy off pinot grigio as I am wont do to, and started researching volunteer opportunities because what I really need right now is to be working for free. That story is irrelevant, however I had to go to the library to print off a paper because of it so…

2015 Chinese New Year Resolutions

I made it back to Chinatown yesterday as the sun was blazing, so I was able to capture a much nicer photo to celebrate the Chinese New Year that occurs tomorrow. Happy Year of the Goat, everyone! Or, as was brought to my attention, the Year of the Sheep! Your preference, I guess. I choose goat because I raised a herd of pygmies briefly (like, I might’ve milked one once in an effort to save a newborn), but look at me with this adorable baby sheep (that’s a “lamb” for all you city kids)! I do challenge you not to…

Reflecting on the Year of the Horse

It’s that time of year again, folks! The Chinese New Year is upon us. The Year of the Goat begins Thursday, the 19th, so I thought I would take this time to reflect on the past year and see where I fell with 2014’s Chinese New Year Resolutions. The Year of the Horse. If you recall, I’m a bit of a procrastinator when it comes to setting New Years Resolutions. (Well, I’m a procrastinator when it comes to all things, and in my unemployment, I’ve been reminded that you have to turn those negatives into a positive, so you should know…

Roadtripping Iowa to Oregon: By the Numbers

Happy Friday…TGIF, amiright? Just kidding, I feel like I’m on vacation everyday since I don’t have a job. A vacation where I don’t leave the house because I’m too afraid to spend money. I thought I’d give some #funfacts about my trip thus far. Well, it was a trip. Now it’s just life. Days in Portland: 8 Miles traveled: 1,945 Hours from departure to arrival: 44 hours Hours into the trip my phone died and I didn’t have a phone charger: 4 Number of times my mom told me I use too much data: a bajillion Age I should’ve gotten off…