So, I mentioned in my last post that I recently spent a week in Portland. I knew nothing about it except that my ex-boyfriend wanted to fly me there for more reasons than I was willing to admit to myself and I’ve never been on the west coast, sooooooo of course I was all over it.

One of the first things I read about Portland was that it is known as the City of Roses! What! I know about those! I love those! Apparently, the climate in Portland is super conducive to growing roses, and it definitely shows. Everyone has rose bushes in front of their homes and I could hardly walk down the street without making little gasps and squeals of approval because I’m a giddy little schoolgirl.

The main rose attraction in Portlandia is the International Rose Test Garden which, hey weird, tests different varieties of roses every year (we’re talking over 7,000 plants and 550 varieties). The peak time to visit is in June when the roses are in full bloom. I was going at the end of June which was sure as hell better than nothing for a flower enthusiast such as myself.

Thus, the International Rose Test Garden was number one on my Place to See list and I went the second day I was there. The first was spent completing season 2 of Orange is the New Black because this was also meant to be a relaxing vacation for me and whenever I have internet access, I like to utilize it by watching Netflix.

ME-YOW.

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As a general rule of thumb, I despise purple roses. Did you know, most varieties of purple roses are the result of growers trying to produce a naturally blue rose? Most of them turn out a terrible, icy, purple-grey that gets brown spots and shrivels up way too fast for my liking.

THIS GUY THOUGH.

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What a beaut, Clark. I fell in love.

Same with this little neon prize.

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I could’ve spent the whole week twirling around the rows of roses like a fairy princess. Except I would’ve run the risk of knocking over someone’s tripod or three-year-old.

Anyway.

Much to my excitement, Peacock in the Park was taking place in the rose garden on that very day! I had planned on going to Seattle at some point during the week since I was so close, and was hoping to go the first weekend because it was Seattle’s Pride Fest and I wanted to watch the parade.

Considering the company I was keeping was from one of the most homophobic countries in the world, I compromised by attending Portland’s favorite drag show.

One of the coolest things about Peacock in the Park is that you can bring your own beer and wine to drink and food to eat. Everyone had little gay picnics that I was dying to be a part of as I was standing at the top of the hill surveying all the fun.

Well, maybe it’s only the coolest thing for someone whose favorite thing is eating and drinking outdoors.

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My favorite part was all the wholesome little families who came to town to see the pretty roses and getting a little more than they bargained for. I heard one mom tell her stroller full of kids, “Let’s go see what all this fun music is about!” knowing full well that she was about to walk up on a three hundred pound woman wearing nothing but star stickers over her nipples. It was so awesome.

I didn’t get to stay as long as I wanted, however, because I had to make it to the North American Organic Brewers Festival which is another topic for another day!